Hard Times...

I look at my life and think of the hard times I have had. But lately my hard times seem like nothing compared to what others have had to deal with. I just currently had a friend who lost a baby and my heart just broke for her. She was expecting her first child and was so excited about the baby they were going to bring into their family. She was due a month before me and once a week when she came to see us (She teachers the youngest two) we would talk about how we were feeling and what new things we noticed. I was so excited for her because I remember what it was like to be pregnant with my first.

When I got the call from her boss that she wasn't coming and she had told me that she had her baby and the baby didn't make it I cried. I held it together until I hung up the phone and then I lost it. What pain I felt for her. I started to feel guilty. Why am I so blessed to have never have lost a child? Why have I never dealt with infertility? I have no answers for those questions and as many times as I tell myself that I shouldn't feel guilty in a small way I still do. So when Monday came and she was coming back to teach I struggled with what to say to her.

I guess I didn't have to struggle so much with it. All I needed to do was be a listening ear for her. I just needed to be that compassionate heart that was going to be there for her. I still struggle with what to do about it and what to say. I really feel that God is helping me with that. I also feel like He is helping me with my feelings of guilt. He is a great God...one who helps us through so many different feelings.