In A Funk

I am sure you have all had these days, or weeks or perhaps even months. It's really just been a couple of days for me. I had completed some very crafty projects which I am so proud of, but them I just crashed. I am not really sure what it is, and sometimes it's so hard to put your finger on it all. Honestly it feels like a bit of the postpartum junk I had dealt with. It seems like it always happens like this for me. I feel the end of the dark tunnel is so near and then with it's grimy paws it grabs you by the ankle and pulls you back down.

But...at least I can some what pin point it. At least I am not trying to hide the fact that yes there are days that I don't feel like doing anything. There are days that I am not the strongest woman in the world. There are days I want to sit on my kitchen floor right in the corner where my cupboards come together...and cry. So often I remember seeing people in my life suffer with depression and I remember time after time hearing things like..."We Christians shouldn't struggle like this." "Depression means you have given Satan a foothold in your life." "You need to go through your house and make sure you don't have anything 'evil' that would be causing this to happen." I have seen the struggle that those words have brought to the ones close to me. I have seen them try to hide it like they are a little child with a piece of candy they know they shouldn't have.

You know what I am determined? We are all the same. God made us as people. We hurt, we cry, we laugh and sometimes being on your kitchen floor crying is what brings you comfort...Because that is where you feel closest to God. We need to be more open about our feelings. We need to let people know that we feel those same feelings that they do. It doesn't matter who you are, what religion you follow or who raised you. We all have our down times. Some more than others.

So I want to be honest with people. I don't want to walk around with a mask on my face pretending that the only feelings I ever feel are happy ones.

I was watching my girls last night at AWANAs. It was such a joy! The Inquisitor finished her second book and is determined to finish her third before the year ends. The Emotionalist was so proud of herself because she said all the books of the Old Testament and got a jewel. Oh how I remember those days that I would go to Sonlight and memorize verses. I LOVED it. I still know lots of the verses I had learned. My days of trying to do that have passed away.

But I was challenged yesterday because we use to sit and memorize with our children and once they started AWANAs we stopped. Why??? Those were such wonderful times we had and my children still know John 1 by heart! Me I am slacking a bit on that one! Ann Voskamp over at A Holy Experience had a wonderful blog yesterday about memorizing portions of the Bible. I can't even begin to say it with the same grace she did. But I am making myself the little booklet and starting on my own journey of memorizing the Bible.

I thought yesterday as I was trying to figure out why I was feeling so gloomy, why haven't I been reading my Bible? It seems like in my down times I rarely pick it up. Aren't these the times thought that I need His word the most? It's in times like these that His words lift me up.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Snow Day

So this is our first snow day of the school year! Crazy! Especially since last year at this time we had already had enough snow days to make the school year go into June! Oh how I wish we had more of these days. I am enjoying having all the girls home and doing so many different things with them. Here are our pictures from our little "photo shoot"!

Religion...Why I am Tired!

Ok so I have to admit. I got sucked into the whole discussion about this video that has been going around. If you don't know what I am talking about I will post it at the end of this blog. The guy had some good points and I thought he presented it in a good way. Obviously people liked it and it started going around!

Well then it came up that people hated the video! And I got sucked into this whole debate that was going on. I was getting frustrated with people. Why can't they see that Religion isn't the answer? Why can't they pull the blinders back and see that Jesus is all that matters?

And why couldn't I pull back and not fight will fellow believers? I think maybe santan is getting something going here. The thing he loves best is for those who claim to be believers to be fighting one another. This is why we don't typically like denominations...because one of the main things they do is spread division among believers.

So I wonder if we can take a moment and forget about religion. Maybe we could just focus on the one who matters. Lets think about Jesus for a second. Maybe just one?

John 1:10-13
He was in the world, and thought the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who recieved him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God -- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

For me I chose not to be apart of religion. I don't claim to follow a religious practice. I even hesitate to tell people I am a Christian. I follow Jesus.

So I posted two videos. The one I said I would and then one by Francis Chan.

My Buddy!

Does anyone remember the My Buddy dolls? "My Buddy...My Buddy and me!" Oh how I always wanted one of those. I thought they were the coolest things! Well today I have one! The Diva is my buddy today. Really...I mean she is wanting to do everything with me today. She is right there behind me while I am walking and right now she is on my lap while I type this. She truly is my buddy and a great one at that. I can remember days that this would have gotten on my nerves and once or twice so far it kind of has, but only because I actually tripped over her. I have learned more to love these times and really take advantage of the moments my kids want to spend with me. She is a doll and I hope you enjoy these pictures of her from today! We are having fun!

Update...I am sure not many noticed this...but she would actually be Kid Sister...not My Buddy! Hahaha!

WOW!

So I had over 100 people read my blog about my hair challenge! Nothing like being kept accountable I suppose! So...as the number grows of the people reading this my chances of being busted sitting in the stylist's chair are getting higher and higher! I can hear you all now if you were to see the scissors coming close to my hair..."NO! You can't do it...I just read your blog!"

So now that am on the topic of hair I thought I would share this with you...

Ok...so again forgive the picture. My husband is sleeping before he goes to work so again I am taking my own picture. Not something I have ever been very good at....just ask my mom.

So this is my newest hair style. I had asked awhile ago if anyone had a hair crimper that I could barrow, and some one had one! I was excited...but then found out it wasn't an 80's style crimper it's a 00's style one. I had never see one like it but I gave it a try...and this is what I got! So fun! 

Well I noticed something today. I had a TON more people talking to me. Not just people I knew, but I had people who I have never talked to before and who would normally not pick me out of the crowd to talk to. I would say I am a pretty approachable person. But there is just a type of person that I don't always attract. It's hard to really say and I am trying to say it nicely too. 

This is a group of people that I often feel is over looked by the church sometimes. They are the normal church going people so many times we don't take the time to really talk to them. Their lifestyle can be offensive and their language can be harsh. But I know Jesus would love on them and share his time with them. Because wasn't he that one who was the friend of sinners? I like to take after him. I like to make these people feel the love of God, but it's not always easy. I don't have a lot in common with them and every time I hear a cuss word come out of their mouths, which is pretty often, my teeth clinch. For so long I have wanted to get to know some of these more "rougher" people. But when you can't find things in common with them right off the bat it's hard. 

So I started to wonder if my less than normal looking hair attracted them and made them feel like I was a bit more approachable to them. I had people asking me about my hair and people asking me if I was ever going to have a boy. So it was a range of conversation and I think maybe I do think God has used my hair today. I know such a funny thing to think. Honestly though I think God can use so many different things to open up doors with people.

Now as I grow my hair out...I think I am going to continue to find new ways of doing it. Ways that seem out of the box and different. Not something typical of a mom with 5 little girls...and not something thought to be "churchie". I think this is going to be fun!

My Hair Challenge!

So does anyone remember when I did this?

Oh I do! I remember the excitement I had for my dreads. How much I loved them! And then how much every product I got for them made me feel sick after I got pregnant. So my dreads came out!

Does anyone remember why I got dreads? Well besides the fact that I have wanted dreads since I was in high school! I faintly remember...I was reading the story of Samson and if you want to read all about it you can here! Also the verse in 1 Corinthians stuck out to me.

1 Corinthians 11:15
But if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering.

So how did I come to this?

Ok...so please forgive the BAD picture. I took it myself and had to crop  my mouth out because there was a strange shadow that looked...not natural! Well I took my dreads out and went a cut my hair...then I cut it more and more. Until last night my husband asked me why I kept cutting it. And he reminded me of my thoughts of women having long hair. All this time I haven't been keeping with my convictions. I thought about it and prayed about it...well this year I am not going to cut my hair. Not once. I wonder what will happen? I wonder what God will teach me through this?

Sweet Lemons

Happy New Year!!! Now that I finally feel like my feet are touching the ground I feel like I can write to you all. I wanted to share with you two of the projects our family will be working on this year. 2011 seemed to be a year where God showed us so much pain that people were going through. So much hopelessness. Sometimes it was not always my husband and I who saw this...it was actually our girls who would bring it to our attention. So because my girls amaze me I will share with you their project first.

Do you know how many people die because they don't have clean drinking water? I didn't know until my daughter started asking me why people die from not having clean drinking water. I am not sure what sparked her interest in this, but we started searching for answers for her. Did you know that about 5,500 people die everyday because of the lack of clean water. 5,500! I was amazed!!!! Why are we not more outraged about this? What aren't we trying to do more? I didn't have any answers and I didn't know what we could do. My oldest daughters started a lemonade stand for the 4th of July. It started as a way for them to have spending money at camp. One day while we were mixing up a batch of lemonade The Inquisitor started talking to us. "It's just water and some powder? Do you know how many people won't be able to have lemonade because they don't have clean drinking water?" Out of this conversation which lasted much longer than just two questions came "Sweet Lemons". 1 out of every 8 people in the world don't have access to a vital ingredient to lemonade- WATER. Imagine walking miles to a water source than carrying back enough for the family, and sometimes the water still isn't safe. Our goal is to help kids all over the world gain access to clean drinking water, and we will do it one cup of lemonade at a time. On average for every 10 cups of lemonade we sell, we are able to provide a sustainable water source for one child. Will you help our girls this year reach their goal of giving the gift of clean drinking water? Help us make 2012 a year of HOPE for so many!

Having been a family that was once in need I understand how it feels to go to the Food Bank or Food Shelf. I am not sure what they call it here. Often times I have felt that the church should be doing more about people in need. Well...since I am a big believe that WE the people are the church...I am going to stop waiting for the "church" building to do something..I am going to start. So my idea comes from friends of mine. Who have helped us out in huge ways and given us this idea which will help others out in a huge way. I love the help that the Food Bank once gave us. The only problem was that it was a mess of food. No real rhyme or reason. It was just a box full of this and that. So what I would like to do is give items that are very specific and go with a recipe. We are sorting out a room in our basement to store some of this stuff. We also plan to keep on hand extra diapers, toilet paper and city bags. These seem to be the things we are asked for the most when people knock on our door. We still are not set up to accept donations as we don't have our space cleaned out all the way. But we praying that you will help us make 2012 a year of HOPE for people in our area. 

So if you can't tell our theme for 2012 is HOPE!