Thursday, December 13, 2012

Book Review: Red Letter Revolution

Book Review:
Red Letter Revolution
Shane Claiborne & Tony Campolo

I have to say that this book is not that memorable except for the fact that it took a lot for me to finish it. It felt as if the book didn't really know what it was doing and the authors still had a long ways to go before they figured out where the book was going.

It may have been the writing style. It was like I was really just reading an email conversation between two people who had similar views but different ways of living it out. (The only time I have liked this style of writing it Screwtape Letters) It was almost like finding out the difference between the old order Amish and new order Amish. Are you the old order, laid back want to stick to your side of the country red letter Christian? Or are you the new order, dread lock wearing, travel to where you are most needed red letter Christian?

I also am not big on putting so much emphasis on the New Testament and basically throwing out the Old. To me the 2 are like the Trinity. You can't put too much emphasis on needs to be balanced. God is God. Are the words said through Jesus more important than the words spoken by God in the OT? I think not...but the authors of this book think they are. 

I do love however their wiliness to live out what Jesus said. This is where I agree with them 100%! Following Jesus in living a lifestyle not just speaking words. Honestly though I can't say I enjoyed this book or would suggest it for reading material. 

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Book Review: I Love You To God and Back

Book Review:
I Love You to God and Back
Amanda Lamb

I was excited to get this book as it looks extremely adorable and the title, even though it's not the most original, really struck a note with me. Maybe it's because of my love for the book that had the original saying "I love you to the moon and back" that I had high expectations for this book. I am not really sure. 

The book was lovely in away and very sweet. The mother had written down her daughter's nighttime prayers for a year. Then some conversations and little blurb's on what she learned from her daughter's prayers and their conversations. It was a very personal book which is probably why I didn't really like it. It may have been just a little too personal. 

I felt as if I was somewhere I shouldn't have been and I was apart of someones very personal prayer time and journey with God. I also felt at times that the book was a bit too much. She was trying too hard to learn something from every prayer that it felt a bit reaching. 

Personally I would think this would be a wonderful gift to give her daughter, I don't know if I really thought it was a great book idea. 

I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Book Review: The Beauty Book

The Beauty Book
By Nancy Rue 

This was a great little book. The only this is that I wish I hadn't gotten it as an e-book! I was excited to get my kindle and this book jump out right at me. After starting my other blog writing about eating disorders this book seemed to fit well with everything that has been going on in my life. But it's still a wonderful book.

It's great because every chapter really hits a good note about being you. Not always needing to following anyone else around you. It gives good practical advice and uses Bible verses to help girls see what the Bible says about beauty or modesty. The illustrations in this book are also great and would really attract young girls to the book. Can't wait to let my oldest read this one!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

How I Met Him

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I met my husband. Most of you know that I met him a college, but that's not the whole story. He pretty much saved me from going down in a spiral that would have never lead me to here talking to all of you.

In high school I was in a pretty messed up relationship. I was ready to leave for college because that was the only way I saw getting away from him. Right when I got to college I pretty much started breaking rules. It was a pretty strict college and I started with the no dating first semester rule. I had fallen for a guy...I couldn't help it Honesty I think I was trying to fill something that a guy couldn't fill. When that didn't work out I went with a guy who told me God had told him we were to be together...well a week later I guess God had changed His mind!

Well that's when I got the phone call I never thought I would get. My ex from back home had called me. I was at a real low and it was the worst time to ever get the phone call that he had changed. He wanted to get back together and he was coming up to see me. There was no stopping him.

So there I am in the "fish bowl" at our school waiting for him to come see me. Then this guy came and sat across from me. Very serious looking. I knew who he was but I didn't really know him. He was one of the upperclassmen. Cute, funny and I was pretty good at imitating his walk. We would sit in girl's dorm and watch people walking around and try to imitate their walks. Every time someone wanted to see his walk I was the girl they called on.

He looked at me and said "Don't do it. Don't get back with him." I just stared at him in disbelief. I hadn't even told anyone that I was going to be seeing him. It was a chilling moment in my life because the only person who even knew I was thinking of getting back with this guy was God. After everything that had happened I thought maybe this is it. Maybe this is what my life is to be...maybe I can't do any better. But God knew better and he placed this wonderful my in front of me to tell me.

It wasn't until months later that we actually started hanging out. I always said he had me at "You can't be truly happy, because you can't have me!" Well look at now...the man who saved me. The man I couldn't have. Is my husband of 8 1/2 years. God knew that I could be truly happy. :)

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Very Honest!

So I am going to lay it all out there. I am not healthy right now. I am overweight and not in shape...AT ALL! So tonight I am starting fitness boot camp and I am letting you all know that my starting weight is 191! To me it's not really about losing the weight...although losing a few pounds would help me get to a healthier place. I want to be healthy!

Finding out some new health problems that run in my family have gotten me to a place where I just need to change things. I need to be focused on keeping this body healthy and happy! So here we are! Day 1!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Days Like This...

I never want to end.

I want to sit and enjoy the sunshine.

Be amazed by the beauty of the flowers you give.

I want to wonder how I am blessed with such wonderful kids.

Enjoy the dirt on your knees.

Because nothing is as fun as getting dirty on a warm day!

Have fun with creative things to do.

And laugh because your sense of style is ALL you!

I want to enjoy you riding bikes...and I never want this day to end!

Sunday, April 22, 2012


I stand with empty hands
Lifting to the Heavens
I have nothing to give

My sad attempts
To give to you
Have left my heart sad

My trying is nothing good
For you ask of nothing
But my life to give to you

So I lift up myself
Giving all I have
You see me white as snow

I reach out to those
Who also have nothing
Hoping to see that with you....
They have everything!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

For Their Tender Hearts

Hey everyone! I will not be writing on this blog as much as I normally do. I am focusing my writing and have started a new blog which is located at God has really been placing this on my heart and now I am acting on it.

Don't worry my random blog lovers. I will still be keeping this blog open and I will be using it to talk about my family and my random thoughts. But...for now head on over to my new blog and start following that one!

Friday, April 13, 2012

The Past...Healing

Last night I watched a documentary that was extremely disturbing to me. Part of it was the fact that the girl was so young, but the other reason was that it hits home with something that I have struggled with for years...

I watch a documentary about an eight year old struggling with anorexia. 8 years old! I sat and as I saw her frail little body I thought to myself what on earth could have caused her to do this? Not that it's always cut and dry like that, but at 8 things like body image, calories and fat should not be so heavy on your mind.

I started dealing with anorexia in high school. I don't think many people really noticed too much, but I would have people say different things to me and I am sure that they saw something. When things started getting a little out of control is when a few people stepped in and I then started to confide in a few of my friends. But really in was more of an inner struggle that I dealt with on my own.

All the possible reasons of why it started aren't important, but what is important is that there are times I still struggle with it. I will catch myself counting calories...I don't even really notice I am doing it at first and then at the end of the day I will tell myself about how many calories I had and then I quickly stop myself and pay more attention the next day. Other times I will catch myself "eating" while I cook a meal for the family and then try to justify that I don't actually need to eat the meal. It's will always be there deep in the back of my head. If I didn't have a great husband and if I didn't have a strong personality and a strong faith it could possibly take over.

I guess what really saddened me is that for her whole life this little girl will possibly be dealing with this nasty disease her whole life. What a heavy and horrible thing for this little girl who should be carefree and have no worries...But in 2 years the number of girls under 10 who needed to be hospitalized because of an eating disorder increased by 50%! What's to blame for that?

Well honestly there are a number of different things that can contribute to the starting of an eating disorder. Many times it's never just one thing, but a combination of things. Stress, pressure to look good, abuse, change in the family, media...the list honestly is never ending. For each person the starting trigger is always different, but the core reason almost always seems to be the same...CONTROL. You feel a lack of control in your life and you desperately seek to control something...and there it is...the one thing you seem to be able to control, when actually it ends up controlling you.

Can we really blame young girls for worrying about their size and how they look? What do they watch? Who do they look up to? We live in a culture where skinny is all around us. It's on the TV it's in the movies...and teenage girls obsess over it! We live in a culture where more and more of a girls body is ok to show...but only if you look good enough showing it. We stress healthy eating to kids at such a young age. We constantly have the talk of diets an exercise swirling around the heads of little girls.

So what do we do? I think honestly we need to start teaching our kids early. We need to keep an eye on our young girls even before they hit the teen or pre-teen age. I love that my kids are taught to eat healthy at school, but I think they need to stop drilling it so much and actually start feeding my kids healthy food at school! Lead them by example. Speaking of being an example...Young women and teen girls please listen....

My girls are very young, but they look up to all the teens in our church. They look up to the young women...the young moms and even the older women. So this goes out to you...PLEASE be a good example to my child of how to dress and how to show yourself to others. As a mom I do my part as best I can, but I can't ignore that my girls look up to others. I don't want my daughters to grow up thinking they need to dress only half of their body and that in order to do that they need to really concentrate on their looks and weight. I pray that one day teens...especially those in the churches will figure it out. Your body is not to display to the world. Your body is yours and God did not intend for you to show it to everyone.

My desire is to see fewer girls dealing with the horrible world of eating disorders and truly loving their body for what it is. I want to see more girls get help for whatever stress or overwhelming situation they are in before they hit this point in life. I desire to see a healthy generation of girls grow up..and change what beauty something much healthier and respectful.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

She Makes me Think

The Inquisitor had four teeth pulled and she put them under her pillow waiting for me to put money under her pillow. Yes she knows that I am the real tooth fairy. It was funny because she told the dental assistant that it was really mom who puts the money there. The assistant told her she better believe in the tooth fairy if she wants to get her money. The Inquisitor then told her she would rather believe the truth.

Well this morning I realized I forgot to put the money under her pillow and I said something while we were in her room...not realizing that The Emotionalist was right behind me. You should have seen the look on her face! "You NEVER told me!" And she walks over to the stairs and sits down so disappointed. What struck me was that she wasn't disappointed that the tooth fairy wasn't real, she was disappointed that I didn't tell her!

So I sat her down and asked her if she wanted me to let her know about other things...and she said yes. So I sat her down and let her know about Santa, the Easter Bunny...each time I said something wasn't real she would say "Yeah...I know that!" Then she goes on to tell me that Leprechauns are also not real and that the pot of gold isn't really at the end of the rainbow.

My husband and I both thought that The Emotionalist knew that the tooth fairy wasn't real. We figured she was just pretending because we knew she didn't believe in the rest of them. She was fine after we had our little talk. I assured her that I would let her know from now on. I never figured that it would be like this...that she would be upset with me for not telling her. Anyway...she made me think today! I love when my kids make me think! :)

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I am a Follower
The Way, Truth, And Life of Following Jesus
By Leonard Sweet

I love that someone finally wrote a book about following instead of leading. Too often we think that leading is the most important thing. But there are so many leaders, so many different ways to lead and everyone striving to be a leader...Who is going to follow? Who do you follow? And which way is right? When I think about leadership I often think about my daughters in the morning when they are all rushing so fast to get ready just so that they can be line leader. So often someone has forgotten to put on socks, brush their teeth or do their hair because they so badly wanted to be the leader. How good of a leader are they being if they have forgotten fundamental details in getting ready? This is how I see leadership so often in the church. Perhaps it is time to sit down and remember that their is one leader (Jesus) and many followers (the church). 

Leonard Sweet does a great job of laying out following as seen in the Bible. That we were never called to lead the masses but we were called to follow Christ. Sweet gives us great Biblical references and wonderful stories to help us understand his point. It's a great book that gives us tons of information and encouragement to be followers. Sweet at times can be a bit strong in his opinion and this book may not sit well with some. But I encourage you to read it and read it slowly. It's not a fast read, but it's a great read!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Monday, April 9, 2012

From my 2003 Journal....

I sit and gaze for a long, long time.

What did I do today?

It's the most I've done in the recent past.
You have given me...
A place of peace.
Close beside You,
near Your heart.
You have given me...
A fortress of strength
A reservoir of love
I feel it flow
From Your strong arm around me.
You are my calm
I fun to You when I am worried.
You are my restorer
I come to You when I am empty
You are my warm fire,
Where I can safely
kick off my shoes
and rest awhile. 

(Please ignore my lack of punctuation!)

Sunday, April 8, 2012


I had a great reminder yesterday from a friend. I don't think she realized it, but it really hit me on how little I actually pray for others. How my prayer life is actually lacking a little bit. I tried to teach my girls that prayer is the most important thing we have. It's the one thing that can never be taken from us. Our church buildings could be gone, our Bibles could be scarce, but prayer is always with us. It's so important because this is how we communicate with God.

So lately why have I been showing them that debating is more important? I feel like lately that is really all people see is a person who is controversial and likes to debate. Is this really how I want people to see me?

What can I do to really change this? Well my friend reminded me that bring criticism to people is not what will help them. Why isn't our first thought when we hear a story that makes us morally cringe to pray? Why don't we pray more often for these people? Why don't I pray more often for these people?

Philippians 4:6
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God."

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
"Be joyful always; pray continually' give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

What is it that we should always turn to? Prayer! I guess it's made me think a lot. Before I start getting involved with debates. Before I start criticizing others. My first response will always be prayer.

Now I am not saying that we should stand by silently on issues. Because my spoken word is good, and it's a way to make people think, but how arrogant it would be of me to think that my words are stronger than prayer.  I hope from now on that you see a more prayerful spirit in my words, and words that are not so harsh.

Sunday, April 1, 2012


Those of you who know me well know that I love to sing. Music is a huge passion in my life! I have a red guitar that has been dear to me for years and a new ukulele that brings new passion into my heart! I love learning how to play it.

I still amaze my husband to this day with songs I know from bands that most people have never heard of. I would have been a straight A student in high school if I could have learned everything to music. I hear it once and I know it...

But I have come to accept that I have pretty much lost my singing voice. There feels like so much strain on it that it's hardly what it use to be. It's hard to pick up my instruments when it's hard to sing to anything...but I am holding onto my passion for music. I can't let it die. 

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


Well I am back again! I had some very VERY busy weeks for our household so I took sometime off of writing my blog. So here I am back again. I know I can hear some of you moaning already! :)

I actually was feeling pretty discouraged about my blog. I had some pretty hard hit areas. I know some of you saw some of what happened on facebook with one post, but I have also had people bring things up in person that I had written and they had strong disagreements. It can really wear a person down...

Now don't get me wrong. I am fine if people disagree with me. I actually would think it was very sad if people didn't. I mean how else would I would anyone grow? I don't want a bunch of zombies following me and making me feel like everything I say is perfect and right. I am well aware that there is only one person who has always been perfect and right...Jesus. I guess I just wish people could come around it all in a different way. More of well here's my opinion instead of YOU ARE WRONG! People can be harsh in this world.

I try to act like I am thick skinned, but really I am not always. Believe me I have come a LONG ways, but I still keep myself tender, because who wants to talk to someone who is hard and calloused? Who enjoys talking to a bitter person? I know I don't...but still there is a need to have some kind of thick skin if you are going to be talking about your opinion...but I get worn out at times.

There are so many people with so many different opinions. I never claim that my opinion is 100% right. I never claim that I know it all...but if I don't share my opinions how will anyone ever see a different way to look at things? And how will I ever grow in my life...because if I don't share what I think will others share what they think? I don't see anything wrong with people sharing their opinions...I just think we have to be careful how we share them. So please know that my thoughts are mine...if you don't agree feel free to share...but lets do it in a loving way.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Relentless Acts of Sacrifice Week 2

Have you ever taken this for granted? A clean glass of drinking water! How often do you trade that for something else? You go to a nice restaurant and order yourself a glass of wine. Run through the drive through and get yourself a Dr. Pepper. How often do you take clean drinking water for granted?



do we


That so many others would love to have...

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Not Your Favorite...

I know I may not be your favorite person. And I know that my thoughts and opinions are not always the most popular...but they are mine. Yes I am participating in Lent. No I am not doing it because I feel like I have to in order to be saved or to be a good Christian. No I am not worshiping an idol or a false god while I am participating in Lent. Lent to me is Lent. It's a time of the year when people give something up...some for a good reason and some because they feel they have to.

Me...well it's something God wanted me to do. Recently a large argument broke out on my facebook after my last blog posted. Some where not so thrilled with me taking part in Lent and others backed me up. I quoted this verse:
 1 Cor 8:4-6
So then, about eating food sacrificed to idols: We know that "An idol is nothing at all in the world" and that "There is no God but one." For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as indeed are many "gods" and many "lords"), yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live.
So like this verse. I know that is only one God. I know that there have been times when Lent was not used in the proper way. That it started as a pagan holiday. I think there are still some who participate in it for the wrong reasons. But let me make it clear. I am doing what God has asked of me...not some dead false god. What I do in my life I do for the glory of God. To see His name praised and lifted high.

Also my motives were questioned a bit. I spent some time talking with my husband about it, and I feel as if I can share this. In Matthew 6 it does talk about keeping fasting between you and God. I feel like the majority of what Christ was saying was that we should be walking around trying to get sympathy for our fasting. My point in the blogs I am writing is not to bring light to my fasting...that is never my main point of my blog. Yes I did mention it since Lent is kind of the season of fasting I suppose people would also know that if I am participating then I am probably fasting something. point of my blogs is to bring awareness. To make people think. To ask the questions that people don't always want to ask, and most people don't want to answer. My point in my blogs is to encourage people to listen to God's voice. Grow closer to God. That your relationship with God is #1. I never want the attention for myself.

1 Cor 10:31
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Day 6 of 40

So I haven't given most of my blog readers a hint of what I am doing for Lent. If you know me personally or you are my Facebook friend I am pretty sure you know by now. I still don't want to give you too much of a hint because I plan to do a pretty big blog about it next week. But there is this journal that you can do along with your 40 days and it's been so inspirational. Well today's brought me to tears. You could say it's a  lack of mental stability right now, but I think it's really because it spoke deep to my heart. I have often said to my husband and mentioned this in a blog once "Let's just move to a remote village!" Well here is the devotional from today:

"Would you rather your children grow up in Uganda or America?"

That was one of the questions a man named John asked at a dinner with a variety of students in leadership positions in their colleges while visiting Uganda. A Ugandan man; a father, a pastor, and community leader; answered without hesitation.


Some of the people at the table appeared to be shocked.

"But America," John replied, "It's the land of opportunity. It's safe. You can get medical attention. At least three meals a day. And clean water."

"Exactly," the Ugandan man said. "You know where your next meal is coming from. You have jobs. Paychecks. In Uganda, you may not know where your next meal comes from. You have little money. You have nothing to depend upon but God. And I would rather have my children rely on God more than I would want them to be distracted by everything else."

What are some things that clamor for our sense of stability? Jobs? Paychecks? Cars? Food in the fridge? All of those things.

These things aren't band in and of themselves, but they can distract us...maybe more often than not. Comfort is an illusion. We believe we have control when everything in our lives are going well. When something we depend on falls apart, it's easy for us to fall apart, too. Our illusion is shattered.

Where does my help come from?

I hope you read that all! Tears came down my face when I began to think of all I have that distracts me from trusting God. So I ask you a question and yes I want you to answer it the best you can. Leave a comment on my blog or leave a message on my facebook or you can email me So here is the question...

How are we distracted from our dependence on God? In a culture of over-abundance and luxury, how can we remedy this?

Monday, February 27, 2012

Relentless Act:s of Sacrifice: Week 1

This is a hard week for me. I can't begin to tell you how many things there are that surround me in my house that distract me. I have things up already that inspire me, but I am wanting to do more. So this week I am going on a purge. I am getting rid of all the clutter that surrounds me. I am going through all my stuff and deciding what I really need. And then...putting up more things that inspire me. What inspires me most? The Word of God! So in the place of all the clutter will be displayed more verses from the Bible! I am excited!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

My Worries...

I don't type out my health issues on here usually, but I have really been needing to write and so here it is. It's actually been a long and very frustrating road for me. I went from one doctor telling me there was nothing wrong to one telling me it might be acid reflex, to the next telling me I was crazy. So he didn't really tell me that I was crazy, but he basically did. About 2 years ago now just shortly after I had The Diva I went to the doctor because I could feel this lump in my throat. After he asked a few questions and an exam of my neck he came to the conclusion that it was my thyroid. It felt full and he wanted to get to the bottom of this right away. Well..he did the blood tests and an ultra sound of my thyroid. I went back after a week and he came in saying that nothing was wrong. Wait? Didn't you just tell me my thyroid was full? That means it's big right? So can I have an enlarged thyroid but nothing be wrong? Yes was his answer.

My husband and a few friends thought it would be a good idea to get a second opinion and so I did. Well...this guy was sure that it was all in my head. Sometimes you can have a lot of stress (I should have never told him I had 5 kids) you can feel like you have a lump in your throat. Well he did the blood test too and it all came back inconclusive. So he wanted me to retest in 6 months.

So here I am no one wants to believe me that I actually feel a lump in my throat. They ignore all my other symptoms and push them off on postpartum depression and stress. I lay awake at night because I can't fall asleep because I feel like I am being gagged all night long. Eating hasn't been very much fun because...well...I have a lump in my throat and it's gotten worse.

While I was pregnant I started having heart palpitations. It was like my heart was skipping a beat. My husband would like to think that it was him that caused this, but know honey that you do make my heart skip a beat...just not like this. There were times when it felt as if my heart was going to beat out of my chest because it was beating so fast. I couldn't make it to my OB when I felt like I needed to go in because of it so I went to a doctor in town. She figured it was the same thing...everyone comes to the conclusion that it's my thyroid. But because I was pregnant and pregnancy can cause thyroid issues that later go away they didn't want to do anything. This same doctor was the same one who later told me that it was acid reflex. Hmmmm...can you see the frustration going on in my life?

Well just a few weeks ago I went to the doctor for some issues I have been having since having The Baby. Nothing to do with my thyroid. I just wanted to get everything check out. Well...all of that is fine. Nothing to worry about. But I didn't say anything to her and she says "Has anyone checked your thyroid?" Oh boy! I did not want to deal with another doctor who thought there was a problem but then was going to end up not doing anything because the test came back inconclusive. So she said that she would help me for sure. So I went for more blood work and another ultrasound.

GUESS WHAT??? Well if you guessed nothing was wrong you are wrong! I have two cysts on my thyroid...2. When I first found out I was a bit excited because this meant that all along I was NOT crazy and I was right...I knew something wasn't right! But the longer I wait for the specialist to get back to me the more I have to wonder and worry about what they will need to do. Will they just treat it with medication or will they have to take it out? Most people I know who have had cysts have needed to have their thyroid removed. Then I think about all that may happen and then I try to remember to rest in God. Hopefully I will hear from the specialist soon.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Relentless Act:s of Sacrifice: Ash Wednesday

What does sacrifice mean? I have never done anything for Lent. It wasn't something we did in our church while I was growing up and I remember all my friends talking about what they were giving up for Lent. There was always a confused look on my face. I always thought it was kind of funny giving up all these little things like candy bars... especially when you don't eat a ton of them! For some reason this year I have been feeling like giving something up for lent...and did God ever give me a Goliath of one! (This one will actually be share in week two of my blogs on this)

I read something on Ann Voskamp's blog just today. I was still struggling with this whole idea and so many things have really made it clear that this is something I should do. She said:

"Okay...Lent. It's the preparing the heart for Easter. Like going with Jesus into the wilderness for forty days, that we might come face to ugly face with our enemy. Our sacrificing that we might become more like Christ in His sacrifice."

Now maybe that doesn't speak to you the same way it does to me right now, but let me tell you a little bit more about how this whole Lent thing came about...

Our family sponsors a little girl from World Vision. I love the organization and just learned they have a little section of they organization called act:s, The World Vision Activism Network. If you don't know anything about them check out World Vision here and check out the act:s website here! So this Lent they are having Relentless Act:s of as soon as I saw it I signed up! It was totally something that spoke to my heart, but when I got the first email that it was time to start thinking I thought...Forget it! I don't have time or energy right now for this...I can't do it. Sacrificing isn't about having the time or energy. It's not about it being easy. Sacrifice is hard and if it's not hard what's the point? So today after reading Ann's blog I said...OH YES! I am so doing this. 

Sacrificing for me is a time to remember what I really have. Remember what Christ did for me, that maybe on some small scale I can understand His sacrifice just a little bit better. It's about knowing what I have that others don't and giving up so that they might be able to have it. 

So here I am today drinking a Diet Mt. Dew while also sipping on a cup of coffee. Any guesses what the BIG sacrifice will be? Actually it's just a small part of my whole thing, but it's an important one. So here I go 6 weeks 6 challenges. Go God be the glory!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Don't Send Me HERE!

Lord give me it all or give me nothing at all. This was the topic of a recent conversation I had with my pastor. He was talking to me about a show he had seen and this guy was trekking into the back lands of Papua New Guinea. I was so interested in what he was talking about hearing about what this guy was doing and in the back of my head I could hear myself saying "Lord send me to some remote village in Papua New Guinea!" I told my pastor that I would LOVE to do something like that and he thought I was crazy. Honestly I don't think it's the first time he thought I was crazy I am sure in the many years he has known me there have been many times.

He talked on about how he loves the big cities. The business and the culture in a big city. As he was talking in the back of my head I could hear myself saying "Lord send me to the inner city of L.A.!" How strange is that? But I remember talking to him about it more saying either I want to be someplace where there is everything and there is so much going on or I want to be someplace where there is nothing. I can't stand the in-between. And yet here I am!

Some may find it funny that I consider my town of about 7,000 or more the in-between. But...I do! I never felt like God built me for this type of small town USA. Even when I was a little girl and I was growing up in a town of about 1,000 and spending most of my days in this town I still didn't feel like I felt in. My visions and my passion don't always seem to fit in here.

So who am I to say that God has not built me for this town? Isn't this where He has sent us for now? I feel God  pushing me and this place pushes back. God is continually stretching me and challenging me to do His work no matter where I am. No matter where He leads us. No matter what He asks us to do. It's not easy for me, but I keep on going and I keep on learning.

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through Him who gives me strength

Saturday, February 11, 2012

My Heart...

This is my rewrite of a blog. My feelings are not so raw and I feel that my attitude now will better be able to get my point across...

I saw a mom's shoulders slump today. It was over the disconnection notice that was crumpled in-between the doors at her house. Her husband has left her with all the kids and she only has a part time job. I sat in my van for sometime and watched her read the paper and the tears welled up in my eyes. What can I do? On my own what can our family do? With all my might I wish I could have backed out of her driveway and driven down to the utilities office and paid that bill for her right away. But sadly we don't have the ability to do that. I have the $5 bill that she once gave me sitting in my pocket. She was kind enough to give it to me for gas money and now I can give it back to her. We could give her a 20, but that won't keep the city from turning off her lights. So it brings me to this thought...How are we being the Church that God commanded us to be?

Matthew 25:40  And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'

So as I think of this mother. She is criticized for digging into the government's pockets. But can we blame her? Can we blame anyone? Most people in the church hide in shame the fact that they are on government assistance. Sometimes I blame the prosperity gospel for this. But I most blame the fact that we no longer live like the church lived and should live. They lived as one. All they had belong to all of them. If someone was in need there was no questions asked...what they needed was given to them.

So how are we working as a church? I wish I felt more confident in the American church to stand up against the regular flow of the Western church. Why can't people send back their food stamp cards and say "No thank you...the church has already done this for us!"? It's because we haven't taken action. We aren't willing to do the work. We are willing to say "NO! This isn't right!".

I remember having a conversation once about saving. Is saving a Biblical thing to do? I remember seeing a video on why someone didn't save for retirement or for "OH NO!" situations. It was because there are people in need. It seemed like most people in the conversation were not certain if others would come to help them if they were in need. I remember when our van broke down it felt as if we were all on our own...Until someone reached out their hand and offered to help us. I wish we could have more confidence in the church. Have more confidence that we would come right along side each other at any moment in life and say "We are here!"

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Proverbs 31

Has anyone read Proverbs 31 and thought....How could I even begin to be like this woman?
She seems so perfect. She gets up early and does all her work with such energy. Most days I can barely make it out of bed when my children get up. I can't even imagine getting up before them and preparing food. But my heart desires to be a Proverbs 31 woman. For me...what does that look like.

I am excited to start studying this passage of scripture again and hope that it will be an encouragement to me and help me be a better wife and mother. Each thing I study will open up my heart more and more to what God has for me and my life.

Thursday, February 2, 2012


So I have been going on very little sleep and just really want to get out! Oh wait...I get to right now! My girls are all brushing their teeth and going potty and then off to bed...and this mom is going out with a friend. She is also the mother of The Emotionalist's "Favorite Boy". It's been a long over due time out and lovely conversation and I am so looking forward to it.

So a little update on my hair. I went to buy a box of hair dye (I can hear all the hair stylist screaming NO!) and my husband stopped me. It's not that he doesn't want me to color my hair, really he is just keeping me accountable to my commitment. He says he doesn't want me to dye my hair and then in a few months I am going to be complaining about how damaged it is and how I really need to get it cut. Hmmmm...can anyone say He knows me really well? That he does! As soon as he said it I knew that really dying my hair was just a way that I would be able to sneak in cutting my hair. Not something I want to do. So here I am a little less than a month into my hair challenge and I am already looking for ways to get out of it. 340 days to go! I am going to finish this! now that my children are all in bed. Yes I did take a break from writing to help them all get ready. Taking a break while writing is not always a good idea which is why I don't usually write during bedtime. So my kids are tucked in. We have given hugs, kisses and "knuckle" kisses (Which surprisingly has nothing to do with knuckles...if you are interested in knowing how to do these I will write that another time) and I am off!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

In A Funk

I am sure you have all had these days, or weeks or perhaps even months. It's really just been a couple of days for me. I had completed some very crafty projects which I am so proud of, but them I just crashed. I am not really sure what it is, and sometimes it's so hard to put your finger on it all. Honestly it feels like a bit of the postpartum junk I had dealt with. It seems like it always happens like this for me. I feel the end of the dark tunnel is so near and then with it's grimy paws it grabs you by the ankle and pulls you back down. least I can some what pin point it. At least I am not trying to hide the fact that yes there are days that I don't feel like doing anything. There are days that I am not the strongest woman in the world. There are days I want to sit on my kitchen floor right in the corner where my cupboards come together...and cry. So often I remember seeing people in my life suffer with depression and I remember time after time hearing things like..."We Christians shouldn't struggle like this." "Depression means you have given Satan a foothold in your life." "You need to go through your house and make sure you don't have anything 'evil' that would be causing this to happen." I have seen the struggle that those words have brought to the ones close to me. I have seen them try to hide it like they are a little child with a piece of candy they know they shouldn't have.

You know what I am determined? We are all the same. God made us as people. We hurt, we cry, we laugh and sometimes being on your kitchen floor crying is what brings you comfort...Because that is where you feel closest to God. We need to be more open about our feelings. We need to let people know that we feel those same feelings that they do. It doesn't matter who you are, what religion you follow or who raised you. We all have our down times. Some more than others.

So I want to be honest with people. I don't want to walk around with a mask on my face pretending that the only feelings I ever feel are happy ones.

I was watching my girls last night at AWANAs. It was such a joy! The Inquisitor finished her second book and is determined to finish her third before the year ends. The Emotionalist was so proud of herself because she said all the books of the Old Testament and got a jewel. Oh how I remember those days that I would go to Sonlight and memorize verses. I LOVED it. I still know lots of the verses I had learned. My days of trying to do that have passed away.

But I was challenged yesterday because we use to sit and memorize with our children and once they started AWANAs we stopped. Why??? Those were such wonderful times we had and my children still know John 1 by heart! Me I am slacking a bit on that one! Ann Voskamp over at A Holy Experience had a wonderful blog yesterday about memorizing portions of the Bible. I can't even begin to say it with the same grace she did. But I am making myself the little booklet and starting on my own journey of memorizing the Bible.

I thought yesterday as I was trying to figure out why I was feeling so gloomy, why haven't I been reading my Bible? It seems like in my down times I rarely pick it up. Aren't these the times thought that I need His word the most? It's in times like these that His words lift me up.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Snow Day

So this is our first snow day of the school year! Crazy! Especially since last year at this time we had already had enough snow days to make the school year go into June! Oh how I wish we had more of these days. I am enjoying having all the girls home and doing so many different things with them. Here are our pictures from our little "photo shoot"!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Religion...Why I am Tired!

Ok so I have to admit. I got sucked into the whole discussion about this video that has been going around. If you don't know what I am talking about I will post it at the end of this blog. The guy had some good points and I thought he presented it in a good way. Obviously people liked it and it started going around!

Well then it came up that people hated the video! And I got sucked into this whole debate that was going on. I was getting frustrated with people. Why can't they see that Religion isn't the answer? Why can't they pull the blinders back and see that Jesus is all that matters?

And why couldn't I pull back and not fight will fellow believers? I think maybe santan is getting something going here. The thing he loves best is for those who claim to be believers to be fighting one another. This is why we don't typically like denominations...because one of the main things they do is spread division among believers.

So I wonder if we can take a moment and forget about religion. Maybe we could just focus on the one who matters. Lets think about Jesus for a second. Maybe just one?

John 1:10-13
He was in the world, and thought the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who recieved him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God -- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

For me I chose not to be apart of religion. I don't claim to follow a religious practice. I even hesitate to tell people I am a Christian. I follow Jesus.

So I posted two videos. The one I said I would and then one by Francis Chan.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

My Buddy!

Does anyone remember the My Buddy dolls? "My Buddy...My Buddy and me!" Oh how I always wanted one of those. I thought they were the coolest things! Well today I have one! The Diva is my buddy today. Really...I mean she is wanting to do everything with me today. She is right there behind me while I am walking and right now she is on my lap while I type this. She truly is my buddy and a great one at that. I can remember days that this would have gotten on my nerves and once or twice so far it kind of has, but only because I actually tripped over her. I have learned more to love these times and really take advantage of the moments my kids want to spend with me. She is a doll and I hope you enjoy these pictures of her from today! We are having fun!

Update...I am sure not many noticed this...but she would actually be Kid Sister...not My Buddy! Hahaha!

Monday, January 9, 2012


So I had over 100 people read my blog about my hair challenge! Nothing like being kept accountable I suppose! the number grows of the people reading this my chances of being busted sitting in the stylist's chair are getting higher and higher! I can hear you all now if you were to see the scissors coming close to my hair..."NO! You can't do it...I just read your blog!"

So now that am on the topic of hair I thought I would share this with you... again forgive the picture. My husband is sleeping before he goes to work so again I am taking my own picture. Not something I have ever been very good at....just ask my mom.

So this is my newest hair style. I had asked awhile ago if anyone had a hair crimper that I could barrow, and some one had one! I was excited...but then found out it wasn't an 80's style crimper it's a 00's style one. I had never see one like it but I gave it a try...and this is what I got! So fun! 

Well I noticed something today. I had a TON more people talking to me. Not just people I knew, but I had people who I have never talked to before and who would normally not pick me out of the crowd to talk to. I would say I am a pretty approachable person. But there is just a type of person that I don't always attract. It's hard to really say and I am trying to say it nicely too. 

This is a group of people that I often feel is over looked by the church sometimes. They are the normal church going people so many times we don't take the time to really talk to them. Their lifestyle can be offensive and their language can be harsh. But I know Jesus would love on them and share his time with them. Because wasn't he that one who was the friend of sinners? I like to take after him. I like to make these people feel the love of God, but it's not always easy. I don't have a lot in common with them and every time I hear a cuss word come out of their mouths, which is pretty often, my teeth clinch. For so long I have wanted to get to know some of these more "rougher" people. But when you can't find things in common with them right off the bat it's hard. 

So I started to wonder if my less than normal looking hair attracted them and made them feel like I was a bit more approachable to them. I had people asking me about my hair and people asking me if I was ever going to have a boy. So it was a range of conversation and I think maybe I do think God has used my hair today. I know such a funny thing to think. Honestly though I think God can use so many different things to open up doors with people.

Now as I grow my hair out...I think I am going to continue to find new ways of doing it. Ways that seem out of the box and different. Not something typical of a mom with 5 little girls...and not something thought to be "churchie". I think this is going to be fun!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

My Hair Challenge!

So does anyone remember when I did this?

Oh I do! I remember the excitement I had for my dreads. How much I loved them! And then how much every product I got for them made me feel sick after I got pregnant. So my dreads came out!

Does anyone remember why I got dreads? Well besides the fact that I have wanted dreads since I was in high school! I faintly remember...I was reading the story of Samson and if you want to read all about it you can here! Also the verse in 1 Corinthians stuck out to me.

1 Corinthians 11:15
But if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering.

So how did I come to this? please forgive the BAD picture. I took it myself and had to crop  my mouth out because there was a strange shadow that looked...not natural! Well I took my dreads out and went a cut my hair...then I cut it more and more. Until last night my husband asked me why I kept cutting it. And he reminded me of my thoughts of women having long hair. All this time I haven't been keeping with my convictions. I thought about it and prayed about it...well this year I am not going to cut my hair. Not once. I wonder what will happen? I wonder what God will teach me through this?

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Sweet Lemons

Happy New Year!!! Now that I finally feel like my feet are touching the ground I feel like I can write to you all. I wanted to share with you two of the projects our family will be working on this year. 2011 seemed to be a year where God showed us so much pain that people were going through. So much hopelessness. Sometimes it was not always my husband and I who saw was actually our girls who would bring it to our attention. So because my girls amaze me I will share with you their project first.

Do you know how many people die because they don't have clean drinking water? I didn't know until my daughter started asking me why people die from not having clean drinking water. I am not sure what sparked her interest in this, but we started searching for answers for her. Did you know that about 5,500 people die everyday because of the lack of clean water. 5,500! I was amazed!!!! Why are we not more outraged about this? What aren't we trying to do more? I didn't have any answers and I didn't know what we could do. My oldest daughters started a lemonade stand for the 4th of July. It started as a way for them to have spending money at camp. One day while we were mixing up a batch of lemonade The Inquisitor started talking to us. "It's just water and some powder? Do you know how many people won't be able to have lemonade because they don't have clean drinking water?" Out of this conversation which lasted much longer than just two questions came "Sweet Lemons". 1 out of every 8 people in the world don't have access to a vital ingredient to lemonade- WATER. Imagine walking miles to a water source than carrying back enough for the family, and sometimes the water still isn't safe. Our goal is to help kids all over the world gain access to clean drinking water, and we will do it one cup of lemonade at a time. On average for every 10 cups of lemonade we sell, we are able to provide a sustainable water source for one child. Will you help our girls this year reach their goal of giving the gift of clean drinking water? Help us make 2012 a year of HOPE for so many!

Having been a family that was once in need I understand how it feels to go to the Food Bank or Food Shelf. I am not sure what they call it here. Often times I have felt that the church should be doing more about people in need. Well...since I am a big believe that WE the people are the church...I am going to stop waiting for the "church" building to do something..I am going to start. So my idea comes from friends of mine. Who have helped us out in huge ways and given us this idea which will help others out in a huge way. I love the help that the Food Bank once gave us. The only problem was that it was a mess of food. No real rhyme or reason. It was just a box full of this and that. So what I would like to do is give items that are very specific and go with a recipe. We are sorting out a room in our basement to store some of this stuff. We also plan to keep on hand extra diapers, toilet paper and city bags. These seem to be the things we are asked for the most when people knock on our door. We still are not set up to accept donations as we don't have our space cleaned out all the way. But we praying that you will help us make 2012 a year of HOPE for people in our area. 

So if you can't tell our theme for 2012 is HOPE!